Failure Vs Success

3 Key Factors That Limit Your Success

3 Key Factors That Limit Your Success

Let’s take a minute to talk about 3 key factors that limit your success. Because, let me guess, you didn’t get it right the first time, eh? Some factor limited your success, you failed, bit the dust, went down like a lead balloon. And now you feel like an utter failure.

Well, this shouldn’t surprise you. That you failed the first time, or maybe even the second or third time. 

I mean, did you really think you would get it right the first go around?

Oh, you did, did you?

Well, I thought I would too. Get it right that is.

We all want to get it right the first time, whatever “it” may be. 

It would spare us from all the uncomfortable feelings that inevitably pop up when we realize we didn’t get it right.

All those nasty feelings of failure we don’t like to feel such as:

  • angst
  • frustration
  • embarrassment
  • anger
  • shame
  • disappointment
feelings limit our success
soul-sucking feelings

These feelings typically cause us more setbacks than “it” not working out does.

So what are 3 key factors that limit your success?

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Not Admitting to Yourself That You Suck-At least In the Beginning

Just accept the fact that anytime you are attempting something new it probably isn’t going to be your best work. How can it be? If you haven’t done it before there is going to be a learning process involved. You will not be the best at everything, all the time.

And, if you expect to be the best in all things, all the time, does the fear that perhaps you aren’t stop you from trying new things? 

Take, for example, that very first blog post you published. There are multiple steps involved in publishing a blog post. Did you nail every one of them that first time? If you go back to that post today what would you do differently? I am sure there are things you would change. Skills you are much better at now, such as writing better headlines or optimizing SEO have evolved. This is because you hone your craft the longer you do it. And this applies to all areas of your life, personal and professional.

Admitting that we may not be the best at something sure can smart though, can’t it? It can cause us to feel all kinds of feelings that we don’t like to deal with. So, then what? You pitch a fit?

Your Inability to Be Objective 

Being objective, especially when things don’t go as planned is easier said than done, I know. Oh, trust me I know. Emotions cloud your thinking. So, throw your temper tantrum if you must but keep in mind it isn’t going to help and it probably won’t make you feel any better.

CookiesDo you know what will make you feel better? Eating a cookie, that will make you feel better. Why? Because you probably haven’t eaten in a while and that makes you hangry.

But, sometimes those negative feelings associated with failure, the:

  • angst
  • frustration
  • embarrassment
  • anger
  • shame
  • disappointment

will undoubtedly rear their ugly heads and demand you unleash them on the world, or at least anyone within hearing distance, maybe just into your pillow. This is especially true if you haven’t freed yourself from these soul-sucking monsters.

So, when things don’t go right, yell, scream, cuss, or ugly cry to vent your frustrations.

Just. Don’t. Smash. Your. Computer. Or anything else for that matter.

Release those emotions, let them go. For good. Seriously, just let them go. They serve only to hold you back. You don’t need that.

Now that you got that out of your system you can look at the issue objectively and see, with much more clarity, where the problem lies, and come up with solutions. You see, being emotional clouds your judgment and prevents you from taking in new information which holds you back from finding solutions to your problems.

This is not helpful to you.

I can tell you from experience, more experience than I care to admit to, that as soon as you are starting to feel frustrated, you should just walk away. Being emotional and objective doesn’t happens at the same time. We tend not to make good choices when we are overcome with emotion.

Now, have I ever smashed my computer? No, but I have threatened to do so once or twice.

Has such behavior ever helped me solve a problem? Nope.

Can a person learn to control their emotions? Absolutely.

Take today, for example; I was putting together a new video that needed voiceover work. Well, for starters let me tell you, that is not an easy task, but not once did I threaten to smash my computer. I may have dropped an F-bomb or 2 but not once did I threaten to smash anything. So, yay me. 😁

Now that you have eaten a cookie or 2, and have control of your emotions, you are ready to learn a new definition of failure.

Not Learning How to Fail Forward

Not learning how to fail forward is a ginormous factor that limits our success.

This comes from one of my favorite books on the subject of failing, Failing Forward by John C Maxwell.

I know, almost all books are my favorite but this one should be required reading for everybody.

So, what does it mean to fail forward?

Well, first of all, you need to learn a new definition of failure. If you look at failure as your inability to do something, guess what? You will fail. You will be a failure. Instead, look at failure as stepping stones to success. Lessons to be learned. Accept that failure is a part of progress. Without it, one simply will not learn or grow.

The act of failing shouldn’t be a negative concept. There is nothing bad or wrong with failure. In fact, it is a very necessary part of our existence. It is how we learn about ourselves and the world around us. The problem is we have been incorrectly taught that failure is awful, something to be avoided at all costs. We are shamed and ridiculed instead of being taught how to find the lessons in failure and move forward. 

Sunrise over Long Lake Alberta

Learning to look at failure in a positive light, and as a necessary part of growth, ensures you will continue to move forward and can finally kick those negative emotions to the curb as well.

Once you learn how to fail forward you can embrace all new challenges with a clear and open mind that invites new ideas and accelerated growth. 

Tying It All Together

So, what does it look like when we accept that we are not perfect, learn to control our emotions, and discover a new way to fail?

Unstoppable success.

That’s right.

You will be able to accomplish anything you set your mind to when you tackle these 3 key factors that limit your success. 

Please Leave a Comment

picture of SharlaAnn Matyjanka

Tell me, what factors have limited your success?

How did you deal with them?

When someone is trying to overcome failure, what advice would you offer them?

4 thoughts on “3 Key Factors That Limit Your Success”

  1. I personally feel that the most important factor in determining success is self-limiting beliefs. Our beliefs about what we’re capable of directly affect our ability to achieve our goals. If we don’t believe that we can do something, we won’t even try; and if we try and fail, we’ll be much less likely to try again.

    This isn’t to say that self-limiting beliefs are inherently bad, or that everyone needs to have an “I can do anything” attitude. But I feel that people who are successful by any definition of the word generally don’t let their beliefs limit them.
    Tamal Krishna Chandra recently posted…WPvivid Review – The Best Backup and Migration Plugin? [2021]My Profile

    1. Hello Tamal,
      Welcome to my blog! It is true, self-limiting beliefs do hold us back. They are the root cause of the 3 things I mention in this post. Unfortunately, most don’t/won’t recognize this and are unable to work through it.

      I think that most successful people have identified their self-limiting beliefs. They know what holds them back and how to overcome that. Meanwhile, other people are blaming some external force for their failure when the reality is their own beliefs are to blame.

      Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I love talking to people about this.
      SharlaAnn Matyjanka recently posted…3 Lessons From Blogging Bloopers – Volume 1My Profile

  2. SharlaAnn, these mindset posts are right up my alley. We all have a rough go of it at the beginning but the ego usually deludes us into believing on some level that we are skilled, clear and confident LOL….no way! Hahahaha…however, swinging toward the direction of being utterly unworthy and non-deserving is another ego trap. Mindset training is the way to go to face, feel and release our fears fueling these states of mind. Sensational post!

    Ryan K Biddulph recently posted…Why Do New Affiliate Bloggers Struggle?My Profile

    1. Thanks so much, Ryan.
      I’m glad you are enjoying the posts. Working on mindset really is the foundation to being able to live the life you desire. This includes the ability to discard old paradigms that do not serve us. Learning to control ego requires a person to be present and willing to be very uncomfortable as we face our shit. It takes constant practice but does get easier. Which is a good thing because once you wake up to certain realities there is no going back. 😉

      SharlaAnn Matyjanka recently posted…Social Media-Have You Been Cursed?My Profile

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